A Little Rough
by MadiDavis
Summary: A little one shot set somewhere in season nine. My take on some of the thoughts and feelings of our favorite couple as they work through the changes and difficulties that Jim's new job brings. Some angst, some smut, and a good hopeful ending. Enjoy!


He admits, it's been a little rough. Okay, it's been really, really rough. He's gone all the time, his patience is thin, and he hasn't had any time with Pam that didn't involve their coworkers or Cece and Phillip, who he's also missed like crazy. In fact, the most time he's even had with his kids lately have been a few car rides to grandmas' house before work, maybe an hour or two before bedtime if he's lucky. But lately it seems that even when he's back, he's not really back. There's always a phone call to be made, a phone call to be answered, someone somewhere in this new business that needs to speak with Jim.

And she's trying, he knows how hard she's trying. Trying to pretend it's okay that he missed a few recitals, it's okay he missed story time, dinner, a new first with one of the kids, it's okay she's been going to bed alone. "It's okay" she tells him.

It was no different tonight. He was home, but it didn't matter. Five minutes into bath time for the kids Jims phone was ringing left and right. She finally snapped and told him to "just answer the damn thing already!" She really hadn't meant to yell, but she's just so tired, and she was really looking forward to the extra help tonight.

She puts the kids to bed by herself, but what's new she thinks. She can hear him, tucked away in the living room as he paces back and forth on a phone call that's lasted well over an hour now. She just misses him so. damn. much. She can't remember the last time he took a moment to just hold her, hug her, talk to her about her day, hell she can't even remember the last time they had sex.

She's getting in the shower, it's supposed to be quick, in and out so that she can get some sleep, but instead she finds herself leaning against the tiled wall crying. She's going for quiet, because as much as she wants to take out all of her frustration on him, she doesn't blame Jim for everything. She knows he's doing this for them, she wants him to chase his dreams, but it's so hard to root for someone when you feel like you're falling apart. When you feel like his dreams are growing bigger than you, when you feel that you're just simply not enough lately.

She thought she was safe there, that the pounding of hot water would be enough to drown out her tears as she let them fall freely. But he heard them as soon as he stepped foot in their bedroom. Could hear the shower as it ran in their bathroom, could hear her sharp intakes of breath as she tried to hold back.

And it absolutely shatters his heart. To know that he is the reason she is crying, to know that this is probably not the first night she's stood silently sobbing in their shower after putting their children to bed. She's a real life super woman in his eyes, she may be struggling with all of this, but he knows she does it for him. He knows when he's gone, and he talks to her at night on the phone that she lies, leaves out the hard and heavy parts of her day, only shares things that will make him smile. But tonight he's home, and he won't let her cry alone.

He's pushing the bathroom door open speaking softly as to not startle her. "Pam?" He can see her head turn towards him, and then quickly turn the other way to hide behind the steam and the glass, not wanting him to see her so upset. "Hey baby I'm coming in okay?" he says, stripping down and stepping into the water with her. He struggles for words, not really sure what he can say right now that would make anything better. Her back is still to him, he places a hand on her upper arm, giving it a gentle squeeze, and then she's leaning back, melting into his chest, reaching for his arms as he brings them to circle around her waist. He kisses the side of her neck, and then nuzzles his forehead into her shoulder. He just holds her, which is all she's really wanted lately.

And now she's crying again, harder this time. It's easier to miss him when he's gone. Easier to be angry with him when her bed is empty. But when he stands here with her under the rain of the shower, his arms wrapped tightly around her, she can't help but miss him even more. "I just miss you" she says, really working on her honesty, really trying to make an effort to tell him how she feels. She can feel him nod against her, can feel him take a shaky breath. She doesn't need to see him to know he's crying too.

He's turning her around, wants to tell her so many things. Wants to tell her that he's so sorry, that things are going to change, that he misses her so damn much that he sometimes pushes her away to cope with the pain. He won't do that anymore, not to her, not to this woman who is everything to him. His eyes are searching hers, trying to come up with the words to tell her everything but all she really wants is for him to show her. "Jim… just love me."

And then her back is against the wall, his mouth hot and needy against hers as his hands hold her hips, his thumbs pressing tightly into the skin there. Her hands are pulling at his hair, holding his mouth to hers as she takes, and takes, everything she's been missing. She needs him, she needs him now. She's reaching for his hand pulling it between them to show him, he's gasping as he feels her, wet and hot and oh so ready.

He's lifting her up, her legs wrapping around his waist as her arms come around his neck. He's kissing her anywhere he can reach, and then he's thrusting into her in one hard deep stroke. Her head falls back against the wall as she screams his name, holds on to him with everything she has as he keeps thrusting, keeps slamming into her. He's hitting that spot, that one that gets her every time, his hands gripping tightly on her ass, and then she's cumming, hard and quick. Biting into his bottom lip as he thrusts one more time, spilling deep inside of her. Her name falling from his lips over and over and over as they just stay there, holding onto each other for another minute longer.

He sets her down gently, she moves to finish washing her hair but he wants to do it. They take turns, grinning and giggling as she reaches high to scrub at his unruly hair. It reminds her of their younger days, slipping into the shower together after sneaking around at work all day, their coworkers not yet in on their little secret. There's so many things they need to talk about, need to work out so that this time in their life doesn't feel so harsh, doesn't feel like they're so far apart.

He's all soft smiles as they dry off, she's full of playful nudges as they brush their teeth. They're both full of wondering hands as they find their way to bed, snuggling up together, sharing kisses as they tease and make light under the darkness of their room. It's been a little rough, but this night reminds them both that they'll be okay.


End file.
